Clarification on Your Name

This was the subject line of an email I received yesterday. I wanted to just reply "It's a long story."

When I married it took me a long time to decide what I was going to do with my name. For most people it's pretty straight forward. They don't even think about it, but for me it was complicated.

There were so many options!

• The traditional drop your maiden and take your husband's. Not an option for me. In a field based on relationships, I felt like I needed my name. And besides that, Bonnie Wood sounds like a porn name.
• Keep the maiden. No change means no paperwork. I thought this was the simplest option. I was wrong! First, everyone assumes your name is something it's not (your husband's). Second, there are lots of times you need to prove you are married. If your name is the same, no one even questions it. If it's not, then things get complicated (and people think you're a weirdo).
• Take both. Not as simple as it sounds. Do you hyphenate? Do you have two last names? Space, or no Space? Do you make your maiden name your legal middle name? If so what happens to your middle name?

Ugh! With only a 7-month engagement, it was all just too big of a decision to make before the wedding.

I told you it was a long story! I finish it tomorrow.